One of my favorite things during the Christmas season is hearing Christmas carols everywhere we go. “Joy to the World”, and “Peace on earth good will to men;” these words are heard?from loudspeakers in parks, shopping malls, markets, restaurants, and even in school programs. Joyful music is everywhere!
在聖誕季節裏，我最喜歡的一件事就是在四處都能聽到的聖誕歌聲。公園裡、購物中心、市場、餐廳和學校的表演節目都能聽見大聲播放的《普世歡騰》和《在地上平安歸於人》。歡樂的音樂充滿了每個地方！
Most years I look forward to Christmas. We had special holiday traditions to make sure our children knew that Christmas was about Jesus. We always had a special candlelight dinner on Christmas Eve, to remind us that Jesus came into a dark world to give us the light that leads to life. We enjoyed turning out all the lights in the house except for those on the Christmas tree. I have sweet memories of my three children when they were young, in their warm fleece pajamas, all of us snuggled in the living room by the fireplace reading Christmas stories. As a family we enjoyed Christmas season! As one song says, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the year!”
每年我都很期待聖誕節的到來。我們家有一個特別的假期傳統，就是要讓孩子們知道聖誕節是關於耶穌的誕生。我們總是會在聖誕夜擺設一頓燭光晚餐，提醒大家耶穌來到這個黑暗的世界為我們帶來了生命的亮光。我們非常喜歡把家裡全部的燈都關掉，只留下聖誕樹上的燈光。我在三個孩子還小的時候創造了很多美好的回憶，他們穿著柔軟保暖的睡衣，我們全家人擠在客廳的壁爐前讀著聖誕故事。我們一家都很享受聖誕季節。就像一首歌的歌詞：「這是一年當中最美妙的時節了！」
However, the Christmas after my first husband died felt like the worst time ever! Seeing other happy families made us more aware of how empty our lives were now that their dad was gone. The pain I saw in my children’s eyes was almost unbearable to me, because there was nothing I could do to make their pain go away. There was a deep ache in our hearts that made it difficult to want to celebrate anything. We tried to keep our family traditions; but the joy and peace of the season had been replaced by confusion and pain. I actually wanted this “most wonderful time of the year” to be over. All we wanted for Christmas was for our family to be like it used to be. Knowing it would never be the same was hard to accept.
然而，在我的第一任先生過世之後，聖誕節變成了最糟糕的時刻！看著別人家的快樂慶祝，讓我們更加領悟到孩子的爸離開後，我們有多麼的空虛冷清。我從孩子們眼中看到的傷痛幾乎使我崩潰，因為無論我做什麼努力也無法使這種傷痛消失。我們心裡的深深傷痛使我們不想慶祝任何事。我們試著維持聖誕節的傳統，但喜樂和平安都消失了，取而代之的是不解和痛苦。我甚至希望這「一年當中最美妙的時節」趕快過去。我們的聖誕願望只有一個，就是希望我們家可以回到跟從前一樣。但我們都知道回不去了，這真是令人難以承受。
In the car one evening I had the radio on, but wasn’t paying attention until I heard these words from a famous Christmas carol—“Oh, tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy. Oh, tidings of comfort and joy.” (from God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”). That was what I needed! I realized that the lack of comfort and joy I was experiencing wasn’t merely because my husband was gone; it was also because in my pain I had begun to doubt that God loved me. Hundreds of people were praying for my husband to be healed, and I prayed more intensely than I ever had. I believed God could heal him from cancer, and I trusted God to do that.Comfort and joy—that’s what I really wanted for Christmas. Could God really heal my broken heart? Would I ever feel joyful again?
有一天晚上開車時我打開收音機，本來沒有認真聽，直到我聽到一首著名的聖誕歌曲：「好佳音賜平安喜樂，平安喜樂。好佳音賜平安喜樂。」(出自《願主賜與你們平安》一曲) 這正是我所需要的！我發覺自己經歷的遺落了平安喜樂並非只因我先生的死，而是在痛苦中我開始質疑神的愛。上百人為了我先生的癌症能康復代禱，而我更是有生以來最懇切的禱告著。我相信神一定能完全治癒我先生，我全心全意的信靠神。結果卻並非如此。平安喜樂—這就是我真正想要的聖誕願望。神真能療癒我破碎的心嗎？此生我還能再次感到喜樂嗎？
The next day in my quiet time, I read Isaiah 51:1-3. “The Lord will comfort Israel again and have compassion on her ruins. Her desert will blossom like Eden, her barren wilderness like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness will be found there. Songs of thanksgiving will fill the air.” As I read those words, God spoke to me. He told me that He had deep compassion for me and my children. Even though my new life felt as uncomfortable and unbearable as a dry and empty desert, He said that He would cause my life to blossom like the Garden of Eden. The Garden of Eden was the place where God walked and talked with His children. Adam and Eve saw God daily, and experienced life with Him at their side. God said that my wilderness of grief would be the place where I would experience His personal comfort and find true joy.
第二天我在靈修時，讀到了以賽亞書五十一章第三節：「耶和華已經安慰錫安和錫安一切的荒場，使曠野像伊甸，使沙漠像耶和華的園囿；在其中必有歡喜、快樂、感謝，和歌唱的聲音。」神透過聖經和我說話。祂告訴我衪對我和孩子們有著深深的憐憫。即使我的新生活就像又乾枯又空虛的沙漠般令人難以忍受和不舒服，祂會親自讓我的生命開花綻放如同伊甸園一般。伊甸園是神和祂的孩子一同行走聊天的地方。亞當和夏娃每天都見到神的面而且經歷神就在他們身旁。神告訴我，在我哀痛的荒場裡，我將能體驗到祂親自的撫慰和找到真正的喜樂。
His Word is true! I can look back on my wilderness of grief as the place where I experienced God’s nearness in a new way. He can comfort us in a way that no one else can, and because of Him we can experience joy even in pain. That Christmas I discovered that God sent Jesus on a mission, not just to save us from our sin, but to heal our broken hearts. Jesus came to a broken world, to bring “tidings of comfort and joy.”
神的話是信實的！現在我回頭看那哀痛的荒場，的確是讓我以一種全新的方式體驗神的同在。祂能用任何人都無法做到的方式安慰我們，因著祂我們即使在苦痛中也能感到喜樂。那年聖誕節，我發現天父賜給我們主耶穌，並不只是為了赦免我們的罪，也要治癒我們破碎的心。耶穌來到這敗壞的世界，帶來了「好佳音賜平安喜樂」。
If your life looks like an empty desert or confusing wilderness, I pray that this Christmas, you will look to Jesus for comfort and joy. May you put your faith in the truth that Jesus has come to personally rescue you. Jesus came “to heal the brokenhearted and comfort all who grieve—to give them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor” (Isaiah 61:1-3)This Christmas may Jesus become your comfort and joy.
若是你的人生正處於空虛的沙漠或困惑的荒地，我禱告神在這個聖誕節裡，你能夠尋得耶穌所賜的平安喜樂。希望你能相信耶穌降生是為了親自拯救你。主耶穌來為要「醫好傷心的人，安慰一切悲哀的人，賜華冠與錫安悲哀的人，代替灰塵；喜樂油代替悲哀；讚美衣代替憂傷之靈；使他們稱為公義樹，是耶和華所栽的，叫他得榮耀。」（以賽亞書61:1-3）今年聖誕節，願主耶穌成為你的平安與喜樂。
▌文：Barb Beard 白佳宜
翻譯：Kari Chang 張世君
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